All the Single Ladies

I have not met any single unmarried women looking to get married who claim to be Christian who cover their head as said in the Bible. I have not seen any at Church, College or Online. Unless I accidentally mistaked them for a Muslim and did not know they were a Christian. How would I go about finding a CHRISTIAN women who actually dresses modestly?

From an anonymous male on YouTube.

This is one of increasingly frequent emails or comments I receive from Christian men. I wish I could help them out and play Yenta (matchmaker). And maybe that would work for a few couples. What should really take place is the concerted education of brain-washed females who think no man would want to be married to her because she wants to don a headscarf. P-shaw!

Men want Christian women with backbones (i.e., courage) who live their faith externally. “Well, I guess I might wear one after I am married, maybe, some day…” That day won’t come because the man you are chasing probably will balk at your making a change later. When men go “hunting” for a wife, they want to pin down how she acts and assume she will be like that after the wedding day. Men like continuity. If you aren’t covering now, TELL HIM YOU WANT TO COVER. “When I am a married woman, I want to wear a headscarf (daily, at church, etc.)” Suck it up and tell him. Better yet, WEAR IT NOW. If he freaks and runs…he is not a man, he is boy pretending.

To the next group of single ladies who do cover and/or dress modesty and are despairing: keep hope. I know it is HARD. Most Western men, imho, are not worth your time until they are older than 25. Be patient and wait for their brains to return. You might have to seek in a larger context, like online. This is how I met my husband (without advertising, long story).  I dunno…maybe I could run a match-making thing. I am pretty good with picking out who will do well together (wish I had the same sense for myself when I was dating years ago, but I digress).

I want to hear from the singles! Leave me comments or send me a note: a.ontheweb -at- gmail (dot) com.


12 Responses to “All the Single Ladies”

  1. 1 Alana March 11, 2010 at 4:41 pm

    Everything you say: Oh, so true!

  2. 2 karen March 11, 2010 at 5:06 pm

    I am single and I cover for church, devotions, prayer, dentist and bad days at work. For awhile I was one eharmony, and my profile states quite clearly that I don’t wear pants and I dress modestly and if that bothers you . . . – and if a guy was smart enough to ask about my “spiritual/religious” beliefs – I told him. I am not going to waste our time if he is appalled by it. I follow my convictions.
    I cover (I don’t make a point about it) and some people may just think I really like scarfs but that’s OK. I am not covering for anyone else – I am covering because I feel led to. quite frankly I have enough sin in my life for me to add another my not doing what I believe to be right. (she that knoweth to do good and doeth not to her it is sin.)
    I am slowly coming to grips with the idea that I probably won’t be getting married – I am 30-cough. But that is Ok, I would rather be single then settle (and I have had a couple chances to settle).

  3. 3 CatalinaMarie March 11, 2010 at 6:50 pm

    I am single and I also cover for prayer, especially Mass. I don’t really care what other people say about it, I’m not doing it for myself, I’m doing it for God.

  4. 4 Nef March 12, 2010 at 2:09 am

    I’m a single lady who dresses modestly and I have the same complaint lol Where are all the nice, single religious guys? I’ve tried online but for whatever reason I only attract non religious guys which is the weirdest thing. I think a matchmaking agency for more conservative Christian singles would be a great idea. It really is an untapped market so to speak, and it would be great for those who want a more traditional way of finding a wife/husband who also share their beliefs/ideals.

  5. 5 lmae123 March 12, 2010 at 11:53 am

    I have been covering for about a month now. (and love it) I have been told that I am “narrowing my pool of selection of guys” which is really okey-dokey with me since I am going to marry only one man! I find it amusing how other’s comments come across. They are fiercly concerned so much to the point where they don’t look at the big picture.

  6. 6 Jennifer March 14, 2010 at 12:35 am

    Anna, just curious- any word on when you and your husband will be received into the Church?

  7. 8 Elisabeth March 17, 2010 at 2:51 pm

    I am a 21 year old single lady. I dress modestly- though I’m not quite up to 24/7 skirts and my job practically requires pants (I wear nursing scrubs and the skirt options for that are pitiful and often less modest than the pants!). I love wearing skirts but they are hard to find in my size too. I don’t cover full time either. I’m struggling with how to fit it into my lifestyle. I grew up much differently from a lot of other conservative Christian ladies and it is increasingly difficult to figure out how to fit covering in with other parts of life. I feel led to cover but am having such a hard time finding where it fits. I struggle with the fact that I go to college and have racked up a lot of debt and want to hold a job where it seems a lot of conservative men don’t believe in women holding jobs. Frankly, the debt I am already in from being a silly young teenager with a credit card requires me to have a job and help my single mother with household expenses. I constantly feel like a poser in some way or another because I’ve been raised non-traditionally. I feel like the guys I would consider prospective husbands would snub their noses at me for the way I am.

    Any advice? I would love some advice in this department. I want to ‘settle’ and start my family.

    • 9 Emily March 31, 2010 at 6:19 pm

      Hi Elisabeth,

      I know how you feel. I’m a 20 year old university student who covers and dresses modestly. I was raised to enter the professional workforce. Because I’m in the middle of a university degree I have student loans I need to pay off, and because of this, when I finish school I need to enter the professional workforce. Contrast this with the girls in the church I now attend – girls who were raised in traditional conservative homes (modest clothes, coverings, home-schooled, trained to be homemakers, married as soon as they turn 18 or 19…the list goes on). I too, for the longest time, felt like I was being a “poser” and that men who could be prospective husbands, men who would understand and support my beliefs in headcovering and modest dress, would not be interested in courting or marrying me because I attend university, and work (and will continue to work outside the home to pay off student debt, and provide for my family). However, I came to the realization that I wasn’t a “poser”. My beliefs are firm, my passion for God is true, my faith is alive…I’ve always believed that a relationship must be centered on Christ and the mutual passion the two people in it feel for Christ. I believe that true men of Christ will look at a woman to see if her faith is alive, if she is passionate for God…if she is kind, loving, humble, gentle…(all which we as women in Christ are called to be) If a man is more concerned with being legalistic…with the appearance of “piety” and faith, whether that be in occupying traditional gender roles (even when financial circumstances call for more and more women to work outside the home to pay off debt, or help to support and maintain their family in a time of economic uncertainty and crisis)…than that man is a poser. Run away from them. There are good men out there, who will be pleased that you have a heart for covering for modest dress, and most importantly, for God…and who won’t get carried away by legalistics. Just be patient, leave it to God…he knows your heart, and if it is his will, he will provide.

  8. 10 philologia March 19, 2010 at 2:25 am

    I cover my head during prayer, and this Lent I’ve been covering almost full-time.
    And nobody’s noticed. It’s kind of awesome, actually, to be able to try this without getting a lot of attention. Granted, today my headcovering is a ball-cap, and it’s usually a simple bandanna or wide headband-style scarf. But it’s been nice to do.

  9. 11 Lesa March 19, 2010 at 5:28 pm

    Look in the Orthodox Churches in Alaska (Antiochian, OCA and Bulgarian)-lots of lovely young Christian women who dress modestly and cover their heads.

  10. 12 Amber April 5, 2010 at 12:47 pm

    Well, I’m definitely single, and I cover full time.

    I’m at that, ‘what you see is what you get’ stage with that, I think. 🙂

    I’ve thought about trying the online route, but it makes me nervous, for some reason. I (honestly) keep hoping that I’ll meet someone at church, but that’s not happening. *frowns* There’s a part of me that thinks it’s because I’m not decided yet. I don’t want to marry outside of my own church, which means that I have to know for sure which church I belong to (Catholic or Orthodox). Whether or not that really has anything to do with it, I don’t know. But it’s what I think. Like…if I get in the ‘right place’ then I’ll find the right man, get married, and have lots of happy babies. 🙂

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"I can't say I don't believe in your God, but I don't believe He meant the world to be as it is." ~Nicholas Higgins. North and South.

"I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you are licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what." No idea where that last quote came from, but I like it!

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