Inferiority Complex

Or something like it. I still have it, while covering in public, lest you think I am all Miss-Confidence in my headscarf.

The other night (Sunday), we went out for a free scoop of ice cream of the best darned ice cream ever tasted which our neighbors make at their shop from local milk and no fillers and HFCS. But I digress. 🙂 In walks a neighbor (free ice cream for the neighbors night) we hadn’t met yet. Wifey is a pristine example of lil’ Southern gal, with the blonde highlights, make up, and cute figure. Think Reese Witherspoon. Of course, very pleasant couple, with a chubby blonde boy toddler in tow and equally forbidding Southern Mother-in-law. Yeah. Dad really likes to chat with ALL the neighbors and memorizes their names as he walks the dog.

We exchange pleasantries while I am inwardly feeling like an inconsequential dork. The feeling is hard to describe. I feel partly like an alien landing in their suburban paradise. You know, the “Uhhh, I don’t belong here. Wrong number, sorry.” Click.  The next feeling is inferiority. I don’t have a new brick tract house (wouldn’t want one anyway) with a dog (do want one) and a baby (really want one). If I were forced to stay in a social situation like that, I would come close to a panic attack.

By the mercy of God, I do not have those feelings regularly. I hang with folks who like me or dress like me. We want to move into the town proper soon where the college students think we are cool and the old people don’t care. Comfort zones. I needs it.


6 Responses to “Inferiority Complex”

  1. 1 Sarah July 14, 2009 at 10:38 am

    Hi Anna-

    Sounds like a neat ice cream shop.

    With regards to the woman you encountered:

    Remember the outside doesn’t make up for the inside. You are a beautiful example of Christ both inside and out!

    And, hey, I think you are cool! 🙂

    God Bless,

  2. 2 alana July 15, 2009 at 1:41 pm

    Outwardly perfet people like her send me to the very same place, Anna. Hang in there with your crunchy cool headcovering self!

  3. 3 frugalabundance July 20, 2009 at 12:13 pm

    Hey Anna, I get the same feeling sometimes. I was at a new Kroger the other day, one I don’t go to often in an “upper crust” type area. I started out feeling like my normal self but by the time I was done shopping I had started to crawl inside myself like a turtle in her shell. Sometimes when I see beautiful, classy, glamorous, genteel southern ladies I get a stone in my stomach. Part of me wants to be them, and another part of me is apalled at the part that wants to be them. Then I try to remind myself that I have chosen a different lifestyle. Those women are in bondage to their outward appearance, the time and expense of their hair, nails, clothing, shoes and make-up. They have not been set free in Christ.

    Just want you to know you’re not alone in feeling this way. Like the goofy country cousin. I think most ladies who cover feel that way sometimes. All I know to do is pray through it and remind myself not to let those fleeting thoughts and feelings dissuade me from my calling to modesty and covering.

    Like alana said: Hang in there with your crunchy cool headcovering self.

    Ditto & Hugs

  4. 4 Kalina July 26, 2009 at 11:33 pm

    I have been looking into the case for Christian women wearing headcoverings. I am concerned with how I would feel as I went out into public as well, but in a different way. Of course the veil symbolizes modesty, and I worry that I would have a less than modest attitude when wearing something so different from most everyone else(as well as something that I believe can be quite attractive). I would appreciate it if you could comment on how one can go about ensuring that the wearing of a veil fulfills its intended purpose without encouraging some sort of vanity or sense of false piety. Thanks. 🙂

  5. 5 goldilocks August 1, 2009 at 6:59 pm

    lol, those perfect Southern belles make EVERYBODY feel a little drab and dumpy, even those of us who aren’t fulltime headcoverers.

    My cousin’s wife is one of those– a natural Mississippi beauty with a fine veneer of Pilates and vegetarian sushi on top; she’s gorgeous, educated, and refined. Though there are certainly other lovely women in the family, nobody can hold a candle to her.

    Yes, her makeup and hair are always immaculate, and you have to imagine she probably spends plenty of time in the studio honing that figure of hers… but even if she didn’t do any of that stuff, she would STILL light up a room by walking into it.

    It’s even a little hard not to resent her for that, but hey, we can’t all be gorgeous in this life. :p

  6. 6 Michelle August 22, 2009 at 10:56 am

    Just tell yourself- they probably weren’t judging you at all. Most people are as self-conscious about themselves as you are about yourself to give more than a passing thought as to what someone else looks like.

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"I can't say I don't believe in your God, but I don't believe He meant the world to be as it is." ~Nicholas Higgins. North and South.

"I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you are licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what." No idea where that last quote came from, but I like it!

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