Land of Unemployment

….here I come!!

I just gave my three week notice. May 15th is my last day after almost three years at this post.

This is really happening! We are moving to Virginia!

Last night we brainstormed a to-do list for our moving plans.

We are also starting to look into job postings. If you live in the southwestern area of Virginia, along I-81, please let us know if you are hiring in the IT/Computer fields.

I am, however, feeling some angst about looking at job postings in my areas of expertise. There are many more “dream jobs” which are open or might be in Virginia than anywhere near here. But I pause and reflect….if I were to apply and be accepted to this position, what would Jeff do? And, practically speaking, how would he get there?

We only have one car; God’s providence for wanting me to give my husband precedence in vocation. He will earn more than me, even if I were to land a “dream job”.

I’d like to hear from ladies who have left full-time employment to return home. [You may also still be working part-time or at home.] How hard was it to leave the work-a-day world behind and trust your husband (and God)for the bacon? How did your ego handle it? Did you catch flak for “wasting” your intellegence/education?

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11 Responses to “Land of Unemployment”


  1. 1 karen April 24, 2009 at 4:06 pm

    If he knows FrameMaker and is looking at the Lynchburg area – let me know.
    Welcome to VA. 🙂

  2. 2 geekywife April 27, 2009 at 11:04 pm

    I’ve been told I’m wasting my time. Gotten the head shake and this lovely comment: “and you’ve got a college degree.” It really makes for some fun holiday family fun!

    I’ve been unemployed for 18 months or so. In part by choice (by not actively searching for a job) and in part b/c no one has hired me for the few jobs I’ve applied for.

    One of the reasons I have too much time for blogging, yahoo groups, ravelry, etc is b/c I’m unemployed.

    One of the reasons I started the geekywife blog was to tackle the “wasting your life” and “why aren’t you paying more towards the mortgage” baloney and to offer myself some support from other non-employed women. When I re-focus and re-start my blog, I intend to devote some space to this topic.

    Take heart, Anna. No one can fault you for doing what you feel called to do! 🙂

  3. 3 Kristy April 28, 2009 at 2:43 am

    How ironic that you would be discussing this. First let me say that I am single & currently have not man in site to trap. I have been very happy in my singleness for several years & had no real desire to marry for several years to come. However, I would say in the last 2 months or so, I have felt a growing desire to marry. This desire is quite different from the romantic desire I had as a child. I don’t know how to explain it really. I confronted the Lord today about these “feelings” & asked him if it is from Him to affirm them through His prophets & lead me in making the right decisions, but if it isn’t, if it is just because my sister has entered a serious relationship or because I live in a very family oriented city, then to quite this “fire” & give me a passion that it from Him. We’ll see what happens. I am not one of those goo-goo-ga-ga, pink hearts & butterflies romantic, I’m more the realist, so I really hope this is from the Lord & not some weird femanine reaction to my fading youth (just turned 29, eek).
    Along with this sudden desire for marriage, out of the blue, a desire to be a stay-at-home housewife has also been on my heart. This is SO not what I wanted in the past. I have always been borderline feminist but over the past couple of years the Lord has been softening my heart towards marriage, submission, & all that that a feminist would rail against. Even as a little girl the idea of staying at home, cleaning, cooking, & taking care of home matters while my husband worked was ridiculous to me. Now, I am obsessed with collecting recipes, organizational/cleaning tips, gardening tips, & other homemaking advice & tips. I’ve been doing this for about a month before I really realized what I was doing. I know these are all things that I can do & need to do whether I ever marry, have children, or remain single, however, it is still quite an odd obsession for me to have.

    Sorry for the long background, anyway, in all my research I have learned that the housewife is becoming more & more common. I think if you feel the Lord is leading you this way & your husband is supportive of it, then go for it & enjoy every moment you can of it regardless of what the rest of the world thinks. But that is always easier to say than do, isn’t it? Ever since the feminist revolution, women who choose to stay at home feel like they aren’t living up to their potential or are letting all those of the past & present down & feel that they may be sending the wrong message to the women of the future. But wasn’t it the whole point of all this feminism to give women the opportunity to make decisions of their own. To know that we CAN become whatever we want but at the same time, CHOOSE the life we want. I think our society is starting to accept women in all fields. Just think of yourself as a pioneer in this next step of women’s lib. Hehe. Yeah, people will probably give you a hard time but they would probably give you a hard time regardless.

    As far as your own internal struggle, I think no matter what career we choose or decision we make, we always wonder if we are living to our full potential. I could have gone to med school & did persue it for a couple of years but ended up as an x-ray/CT technologist. I did it because I didn’t want to waste time & money persuing a career I really wasn’t sure I wanted so I decided to go for x-ray so I could see what a doc has to deal with & then decide whether to go back or not later on. I can tell you know, I am so glad I didn’t go to med school, however, I do feel that I could have been so much more & feel as though I’ve let my family & myself down. But, of course, that is Satan trying to get me down. I know I could go back & do something else, right now, I don’t really know what I would go back for. I think that no matter what choice I would have made or will make in the future, I will always wonder if I’m “living up to my potential.”

    I’m excited to hear about this new adventure in your life & learn from you in case I do one day follow in your footsteps. 😀

  4. 4 Civilla April 28, 2009 at 8:44 pm

    I am 56 and have been married for 39 years. At about the 12 year point in our marriage, I felt convicted about working outside the home (I knew what the Bible taught — just didn’t want to do it), and decided to stay home and be dependent on my husband. My working had caused problems.

    Anyway, it was a BIG adjustment. I got the “what do you do all day”. I got “why can’t she get a job” from my inlaws. See, I didn’t have children at the time. If I had had children, I could have gotten away with it. But I didn’t have any when I first decided to stay home and didn’t for several years after that. Then I had 2 children.

    I felt like I had to defend my decision all the time, but with unbelievers. The church people thought I was doing right, thank God.

    Unfortunately, I was stranded in a practically empty housing area (we were Air Force), with no car, since my husband took our only vehicle to work. We had thrown out the tv. All I had was the radio. Looking back, I would have provided myself with a tv, and watched wholesome programs, just to have company and something to do. I would have gotten up and driven my husband to work so that I could have the car, to be able to drive the 16 miles to ladies’ functions at church or something. Anyway, I cracked up due to loneliness and nothing to do (had a nervous breakdown).

    It got better when I had children, because then I had something to do. I think the biggest adjustment new moms have is the adjustment of staying home when they are used to working, not just the jew baby.

    In the olden days, people lived more communally, not in empty suburbs. Just my thoughts. P.S. I am still a stay at home mom, but now having some of the same problems because my boys are grown. Thank goodness for the internet and blogging. Also, thank goodness my husband is semi-retired and home with me. The loneliness gets to me.

  5. 5 Civilla April 28, 2009 at 8:45 pm

    Sorry for the typo: I meant the “new” baby!!!

  6. 6 mirancs8 April 28, 2009 at 9:23 pm

    I was a corporate working wife/mom for a number of years and leaving and depending of DH completely was easy at first but then got really difficult. I have to say that I have a tough time not bringing in an income and not earning something. I feel like I’m not contributing financially. My husband loves me being home but either way he doesn’t really care.

    I won’t lie. At first exciting and easy… so hard and old.

  7. 7 KylaJean April 28, 2009 at 10:35 pm

    I found your blog from Amy at Clothesline Alley and this was the first post that I read. I am actually at home now after out earning my husband the last few years. I am not really home by choice as I was laid off from my last company. I do want to return to work but have been learning so much from by not being so in control of my income. I haven’t really had a problem trusting my husband as he is very good with money and always been able to pay all of our bills. I do think that God wants me to learn to step back from my controlling ways and lean on Him a little more.

  8. 8 Bethanie April 29, 2009 at 8:19 am

    The job I left behind was reception work. I was thrilled when my hubby gave me permission to leave. True, at first, I missed the extra spending money. But, it was worth it to me to be at home. I confess I worry about what would become of us if he lost his job. But, I have to learn to trust in the Lord to take care of us. I don’t have children yet, so people don’t understand what I’m doing at home. Most people don’t understand why a woman with children wouldn’t work outside of the home, much less a woman without children. However, financially, it has been much better for us. I’m not using gas everyday, I’m not eating lunch out, and I’m taking care of our home. I’m not shopping all of the time to try and look professional for a job. Now, a year later, I’m very happy being at home. The biggest benefit is that I have all the time in the world for my hubby. And when our child does come, I will beable to raise him/her.
    I’ve really enjoyed looking over your blog.

  9. 9 Mrs W April 29, 2009 at 8:55 am

    While I was single and living in another country in which I grew up, I worked two or three jobs to make ends meet. Now, I am a stay at home married mom with two small children and one on the way. To me, sometimes being a stay at home mom is MUCH harder, your job doesn’t end at 5.00, and you don’t get a day off. It’s hard for me to trust my husband with the money at times.

    With that being said though, I believe it is Biblical and WORTH it, to stay at home.

  10. 10 Hajar Zamzam Ismail April 29, 2009 at 11:25 am

    Believe me, leaving work and focusing on my family has been the best choice I’ve ever made. An education never goes to waste, it helps you consider a variety of solutions to a variety of issues, whether you work outside, or you decide to invest your educated mind in your family. “You get out of it what you put into it.”
    I feel tremendously relieved that I am no longer pressured to come up with the rent and the grocery money. I was only too happy to turn that responsibility over to my husband. Keeping twin toddlers clean, fed, and out of mischief is enough responsibility for me. God alone is worthy of all praise.

  11. 11 Eli May 2, 2009 at 6:45 am

    Dear Anna,
    Its been such a blessing to find you and your beautiful blog (through Amy’s delightful blog “http://inclotheslinealley.blogspot.com/”). I dont want to explain too much about me here, I may write you an email and do that. All I want to say right now, before I dash out to my students is that I’m also planning to leave my job as a university instructor, one with much future prospects and to become a stay-at home mom and wife.(short explanation in my blog: http://helpthetruth.blogspot.com/)
    Its a very hard decision to make and I’m hopeful that the Dear Lord Himself helps me out in this!

    The comments by all those dear ladies were much helpful and encouraging.

    Hope to read more of your beautiful posts.

    In His care
    Eli


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