…or, “Living in No-Man’s Land”
The Government owns, directly or indirectly, almost every scrap of my existence. My husband and I work for government-sponsored education facilities. The city in which we live is supported through a military base and all the cacophony of contracting firms. Former military retire here for some weird reason. Indian tribes. Lots of them. Did I mention Big Oil??
I have federal student loans totaling more than I earn in a year.
The most important things I actually own could probably fit into my small sedan car, including the cat and the husband. Yes, I own the car.
I have lived in 5 states and 10 addresses. Jeff can claim at least 3 state residencies (more, I am sure). When someone asks me where I am from…I choose the state where I lived the longest. I am really from Nowhere, USA.
Pondering these realities while trying to figure out what I need to do at work today…I realized that we really are pilgrims…in many ways.
I am reading The Way of a Pilgrim and The Pilgrim Continues His Way, a quasi-autobiographical account of a man’s spiritual and physical journey around Russia. He carries with him a small knapsack with bread, the Bible, and the Philokalia, a compendium of Orthodox writings. He depends on the kindness of strangers & priests.
We have left the oft-confusing land of Protestantism. Its like getting a hall pass (remember those from public school?) from God. A little fun to wander around the building, but really we should get somewhere. But where?
The Orthodox Church is great…in theory….but so far away.
We want to be in the Life of the Church. How can that happen if the physical church is an hour’s drive from our home? How could we possibly feel connected with the “Fam”, if we can only see them twice or thrice a month?
If we go back to Protestantism, we will still feel alone. That is why we left. We are too weird. We don’t want to be alone!
We are out there…in the hall way….walking around….not feeling all that guilty, though a little lost.
Pray for us.