Transitioning into Modesty

Kim left a comment on my About page this week, asking:

Fifty years old and feel led to start wearing a covering! Last month I felt lead to begin wearing long skirts or dresses after wearing jeans for many years. I think I’m scaring my husband, not to mention my children. Been a Christian for most of my life, but only recently have been moved to modesty. Any suggestions for dealing with my poor family?

Many ladies have transversed this path, Kim; you are not alone! Any sort of meaningful spiritual change as reflected in our daily lives will inevitably cause  discomfort for someone. They may not even wish to understand or care, for that matter. You still have to live with them. So , what to do?

From my experience, being absolutely clear and upfront in your motives is the best amelioration. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a full family meeting (unless this is what your tradition is) to declare your conviction. Start with your husband first. Start off with an icebreaker like, “You’ve probably noticed I am wearing skirts/dresses more frequently now. What do you think of it?” If he is truly freaking over the change, try drawing him out as to why. Maybe he might offer some suggestions as to style of dresses he likes better (modest, of course.) Men appreciate direct arguments. He may argue, but at least he knows where you stand.

Children, I’m guessing older, are another kettle of fish. “Mom’s off her rockers!” “Will she make us wear the same stuff?” Simplify the argument from the husband conversation above and make it clear that this is your choice. You might encourage your girls to follow your example, but they need to look at Scripture/Tradition and make their decision.

I hope this helps, Kim. Anybody else have some suggestions?


6 Responses to “Transitioning into Modesty”

  1. 1 offbeatmodestdress May 24, 2008 at 3:46 pm

    Yikes, I don’t have sage advice, as my husband wears wacky clothes and I generally don’t give him a bad time. He knows that being kind to me in my modest ways is the best way. 🙂

    Just here to let you know, Anna, about LisaM’s headcovering webring, should you care to join: Would love to have you! God’s blessings to you!

  2. 2 offbeatmodestdress May 24, 2008 at 3:47 pm

    And what’s your ABOUT page, Anna?


  3. 3 cbrunette May 27, 2008 at 9:56 am

    It is the About Anna page, here:

  4. 4 Ember July 12, 2008 at 12:58 pm

    I have found that while I am making a transition like this I feel a bit self-conscious, so am sensitive to other people reacting with apprehension or embarrassment or anything other than total enthusiasm.
    I think the way forward is just to persevere. People get used to it. After a while they stop commenting because instead of their attention being arrested by the change you’ve made, all they see is you.

  5. 5 Brandi July 28, 2008 at 12:09 pm

    I am struggling with the same issue…my husband doesn’t quite share my convictions! I have just started dressing modestly and wearing a head covering at home. It’s sad to say this, but I think he would be embarrassed if I wore it in public or around his family. For this reason, I haven’t gone out in it yet. My daughter (2) loves it and wants one of her own. My son (8) hasn’t even noticed or said a word about it. So, I guess the next step for me is to wear it in public. Wearing it around extended family will be the biggest hurdle…they’re going to think I’ve gone off the deep end!


  6. 6 Kimberly December 7, 2008 at 5:39 pm

    Hi! my name is Kim and I had a serious question. I am a 17 year old girl. I am the only Christian in my family and I would like to begin dressing modestly and wearing a headcovering. I don’t know how to go about this because my parents don’t want me to do either one. When I told my parents I didn’t want to be a cheerleader anymore because of the lack of modesty, they made me anyway. I would ask my pastor but I don’t have one because I’m not allowed to attend church. It would be really helpful if you could tell me how to convince my parents to let me dress modestly and go to church because it’s really important to me.

    Also, I love your vlog on youtube as well as this one.

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"I can't say I don't believe in your God, but I don't believe He meant the world to be as it is." ~Nicholas Higgins. North and South.

"I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you are licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what." No idea where that last quote came from, but I like it!

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