The Correct Thing

I found a delightful little book in the stacks today while trying to air myself out. It is The Correct Thing in Good Society by Florence Howe Hall, published in 1902. As you can deduce the book is an ettiquette manual. There are chapters according to subject, like “In the Street” or “At a Wedding.” On the left hand page are the “Do’s” and the right hand page are the “Don’ts.” Here is an example:

[It is the Correct Thing…for a lady]

• To take a gentleman’s arm in the evening unless her hands should be fully occupied with her muff, or in holding up her dress.
• To bow first to a gentleman.
• Where two ladies are under the escort of one gentleman, for one of them only to take his arm, the other lady walking by her side.

[It is not the Correct Thing…for a lady]

• To wear a breastpin on a coat or other outside garment.
• To take a gentleman’s arm in the day time, unless it be in a crowded thoroughfare, on a slippery pavement, or under any other circumstances where it may be necessary for protection or support.
• For two ladies to take each an arm of the same gentleman.
• For one lady to take the arms of two gentlemen, unless she be learning how to skate.

Ettiquette manuals have fascinated me for two reasons. First, I love social order, rules and expectations. That is probably an autistic quality of mine. If I know what to expect, I’m less fearful of social situations. On the flip side, I can also know how to react when someone (or myself!) makes a blunder. And, I can know that what I just said or did was a blunder!

Second, the manuals are a historical glimpse of culture. People probably did not know all of these customs delineated in a book, but the values and virtues undergirding them were widely known. Valuing a woman in this society means a man helps her and protects her through offering his crooked arm to hold at night or in possibly dangerous circumstances.

I encourage you to look for these older ettiquette manuals in antique stores and learn about how people respected each other in days gone by.

Still Roasting

The saga of the A/C unit continues. We learned yesterday that it was declared dead and must be replaced. When?? I haven’t heard yet…maybe by the end of this week or next week…oh heck, let’s just wait for winter! Major capital improvements…sigh.

Current office temp: 80 F at 9:40 am. Predicted high temperature outside: 104 F. I have to stay put today because the President [of the university] is coming by for her yearly “get-together” with the faculty and staff this afternoon. When I came home from work yesterday I felt so sleepy and worn out. Perhaps this is adding to my stress level? 😉

Yes, I am wearing long skirts and modest tops to work. (Don’t have anything else to wear!) I have a small fan oscillating at my feet which blows my peasant skirt around a bit for circulation. My trusty Nalgene bottle remains at hands-reach at all times!

Sending Your Husband Off to School

My dear husband started his year-long computer training course yesterday. For some reason, I have been a ball of stress and emotions surrounding this event. He seems to be really happy to take on this venture, to be free of his old job, and to learn some new work skills to help up in the future. I guess I am the one who is the worry-wort over how we will manage financially and relationally.

Every new step in life is filled with choices to either open up our hearts to the goodness of God or to try to do things on our own. My emotions are chronically myopic. I can only ride wave to wave, up and down, if I rely on them. With my faith and mind, I can see the long range, the benefits on the other side. Are my emotions evil? No, but they are only to be trusted to a limited extent. Its ok to admit I’m scared or nervous or overwhelmed. Even saying that helps.

I am joyful, deeply joyful for Jeff to have this opportunity. He will grow in confidence, ability, and leadership.  He will be a better husband and citizen. Pray for me as I learn to yield and ask the Father for all that we need.