Thank you all for your prayers today…it was a rough day of weird symptoms and asking myself over and over, “What was I thinking?”
Yes, I took one 10 mg tablet of Ritalin, prescribed by my doctor, this morning. That is the lowest dosage available. She said to give it a try for two weeks and see her in a month. Well, the remainder of the pills have been ceremonially dumped into the toilet and flushed!
For the shortened long story: A sibling and my father have recently started in on Ritalin as adults. They’ve been having good results. My husband and I have been joking for months that I’ve got ADD. I thought I’d give it a try for a little while to see if it would improve my clarity of thought.
Jeff was really against it because Ritalin is essentially Meth in a small dose. He works with drug addicts and knows what this stuff does to people. He has seen me all loopy on over-the-counter medicines…what could this possibly do?
[Disclaimer: Ritalin works for some people. I am not entirely against it…only for me!]
My hands started to feel puffy (they did not swell…but felt that way all day). I felt sleepy and alert at the same time, like I took a sleeping pill with a double shot of espresso. My face felt numb and my speech was difficult and slow. Yeah…this was the medication to help me be not so distracted.
Jeff administered his version of detox: chocolate ice cream and oreo cookies. 🙂
I can at least rule out ADD…which leads to my next tangent….
For a few weeks now, I’ve been investigating autism, more specifically, Asperger’s Syndrome. That was really difficult for me to write just then…because it feels like I’m baring my soul in admitting I might have a profound neurological difference. Though I’ve not been officially diagnosed, the patterns of my childhood and adulthood seem to be lining up within the confines of the autism spectrum. Jeff agrees with many of the articles we’ve read.
Where do I go from here? I’m not sure…but the more I learn, the better I understand how God made me and may want to use me in the world.