[Picking up where I left off in June...]
The F.W. teacher I had gave her story about when she first walked into the class of Fascinatting Womanhood, and it is so wonderful, I want to tell it to you. Joyce was a chiropractor, married to a chiropractor. For 16 years she was the leader, didn’t want to give it up, yet she wanted him to love and protect her and make the decisions. She and her husband all those years had nothing that God really wanted for a marriage. She ran things in the home and in the office, and he let her. He was like half a man – really beaten down. He didn’t feel good about himself, or feel important at all. He was a very shy man who really didn’t like to be around a lot of people, because of a nagging woman he joined many clubs and was president to many of then, just to get away from her. Joyce didn’t know what she was doing – she thought she was helping him.
They would go days without touching. Joyce and her husband went to Parker which is a chiropractic seminar. Dr. Parker found that he was helping doctors to have better practices but their marriages were falling apart so he added Fascinating Womanhood. It saved many, many marriages, and made so many much better When they got to Parker, there in the hotel, Joyce said to her husband, “Oh, I see a new course being offered, I think it is a self-improvement class.” Her husband said, “TAKE IT!”
She did. One of the things her teacher told her to do (along with the rest of the class) was to start looking for the good in their husbands and to tell them. And one of the things she told them to do was to look their husband over and find the thing about them physically that they admired or that turned them on. Joyce went into the room that night and after taking a bath, was sitting on the side of the bed, looking at her pretty nightie, thinking to herself, now what can I tell my husband about his body that I admire. She was not use to doing this so she was shaking all over. She thought how the teacher said it had to be true. She thought as her husband was taking a shower. She thought, “Oh, yes, his shoulders! They have always turned me on!”
When he came out of the bathroom, she got these words out of her mouth, “Honey, I have never told you this before, but you have the broadest shoulders and they have always turned me on!” Well, he looked at her stunned, and walked over to the mirror and said, “They are kinda neat, aren’t they?” He turned and walked over to Joyce and took her in his arms and kissed her in a way that he had not in years. And said, “Why Joyce, I did not even know you liked my body.” That one thing began to change their relationship.
She made him feel good about himself. Is it wrong to read a book that tells you what a man needs and then give it to him? My husband says to give them what they NEED and not what they DESERVE. They know they are not perfect, but they want to be our hero, want us to look up to them, to look only at their good points and not always at their faults.
Joyce told her husband she wanted to be a good wife, a better person. She never thought before that she even wanted to be a better wife – this was the most important thing for her to want to do and told him so, to also open doors for him. She said she learned she wanted to be cherished (didn’t know it, and learned that her husband needed to be admired.) She also said never had I ever taken the time to think about him, to admire him, I married him, he had to know. Isn’t that what a man thinks about his wife sometimes, saying, “Well, why should I have to tell my wife I love her, she should know it, I married her – not realizing she needs to be told she is loved. She is not asking for information but for reassurance. He rhusband said later, “Joyce, you don’t know what it means to me for you to be in a class to be a better wife. I didn’t know you cared about our marriage. I though you just wanted to improve yourself as a doctor.” She also told me this: I sat on my husband’s lap (something I never did before) this shocked him. She said, “I am going to stop working. I am not a good wife or mother. It took her 4 or 5 months to get off the wall at home, but with much working at it she became the happy, fulfilled wife making a better home for her husband and children. She gave her husband some wonderful, fulfilled years before he died not too long ago. He became a real man, one who liked himself, and given the kind of peace and love in his relationship that every man longs for – and we women with God’s help and these principles can give them.