Posts Tagged 'Fascinating Womanhood'

Fascinating Womanhood Notes, Pt.4

[Picking up where I left off in June...]

The F.W. teacher I had gave her story about when she first walked into the class of Fascinatting Womanhood, and it is so wonderful, I want to tell it to you. Joyce was a chiropractor, married to a chiropractor. For 16 years she was the leader, didn’t want to give it up, yet she wanted him to love and protect her and make the decisions. She and her husband all those years had nothing that God really wanted for a marriage. She ran things in the home and in the office, and he let her. He was like half a man – really beaten down. He didn’t feel good about himself, or feel important at all. He was a very shy man who really didn’t like to be around a lot of people, because of a nagging woman he joined many clubs and was president to many of then, just to get away from her. Joyce didn’t know what she was doing – she thought she was helping him.

They would go days without touching. Joyce and her husband went to Parker which is a chiropractic seminar. Dr. Parker found that he was helping doctors to have better practices but their marriages were falling apart so he added Fascinating Womanhood. It saved many, many marriages, and made so many much better When they got to Parker, there in the hotel, Joyce said to her husband, “Oh, I see a new course being offered, I think it is a self-improvement class.” Her husband said, “TAKE IT!”

She did. One of the things her teacher told her to do (along with the rest of the class) was to start looking for the good in their husbands and to tell them. And one of the things she told them to do was to look their husband over and find the thing about them physically that they admired or that turned them on. Joyce went into the room that night and after taking a bath, was sitting on the side of the bed, looking at her pretty nightie, thinking to herself, now what can I tell my husband about his body that I admire. She was not use to doing this so she was shaking all over. She thought how the teacher said it had to be true. She thought as her husband was taking a shower. She thought, “Oh, yes, his shoulders! They have always turned me on!”

When he came out of the bathroom, she got these words out of her mouth, “Honey, I have never told you this before, but you have the broadest shoulders and they have always turned me on!” Well, he looked at her stunned, and walked over to the mirror and said, “They are kinda neat, aren’t they?” He turned and walked over to Joyce and took her in his arms and kissed her in a way that he had not in years. And said, “Why Joyce, I did not even know you liked my body.” That one thing began to change their relationship.

She made him feel good about himself. Is it wrong to read a book that tells you what a man needs and then give it to him? My husband says to give them what they NEED and not what they DESERVE. They know they are not perfect, but they want to be our hero, want us to look up to them, to look only at their good points and not always at their faults.

Joyce told her husband she wanted to be a good wife, a better person. She never thought before that she even wanted to be a better wife – this was the most important thing for her to want to do and told him so, to also open doors for him. She said she learned she wanted to be cherished (didn’t know it, and learned that her husband needed to be admired.) She also said never had I ever taken the time to think about him, to admire him, I married him, he had to know. Isn’t that what a man thinks about his wife sometimes, saying, “Well, why should I have to tell my wife I love her, she should know it, I married her – not realizing she needs to be told she is loved. She is not asking for information but for reassurance. He rhusband said later, “Joyce, you don’t know what it means to me for you to be in a class to be a better wife. I didn’t know you cared about our marriage. I though you just wanted to improve yourself as a doctor.” She also told me this: I sat on my husband’s lap (something I never did before) this shocked him. She said, “I am going to stop working. I am not a good wife or mother. It took her 4 or 5 months to get off the wall at home, but with much working at it she became the happy, fulfilled wife making a better home for her husband and children. She gave her husband some wonderful, fulfilled years before he died not too long ago. He became a real man, one who liked himself, and given the kind of peace and love in his relationship that every man longs for – and we women with God’s help and these principles can give them.

Fascinating Womanhood Notes, Pt. 3

[These are transcribed notes from an Anonymous Fascinating Womanhood teacher. Capitalizations and structure of the original have been preserved.]

I use to think the way to a mans heart was through his stomach or sex – but that is not all true – its through his ego. Man has much more ego than the woman. And this is good because it makes him go out and make a place in the world for himself. He also is much more competitive than a woman. A woman’s whole life is her man – a man’s whole life is not his wife – she is first in his heart, but can’t be first in his life or he would never leave hom – he would just want to be with her. God’s plan works. We just have to understand God’s plan for both male and female. The dominate desire of the man is to be admired. Admiration for his physical body, his strength, his manly qualities, his ideas and etc. Both want to be loved and admored, but his strongest desire is to be admired. Admiration to him is like romance to a woman. A man in most cases doesn’t cheat on his wife for sex – but for admiration – she builds him up, makes him feel like her hero. It is just a substitute. It is one of those needs, and when certain needs are not met, either for the woman or the man in a relationship and those needs are strong enough – they will go looking for someone to fill those needs. We are only human. A man wants to go where his feels good about himself and is loved and looked up to. A husband wants to be a hero to his wife. Feeling she accepts him as he is, and doesn’t try to change him. Now I am not talking about mistreatment – that is another subject we will have to bring up later and how to handle it without destroying the relationship.

So the first thing to learn is that men are different from women. Love is essential to both, and to be admired is essential to both, but to be loved and CHERISHED is more IMPORTANT to a woman and to be admired is MORE IMPORTANT to a man. Because we fail to understand these differences, we often supply men with the things WE need, rather than the things THEY need and are baffled when they fail to respond as we anticipated. So the dominant desire of women is to be loved and cherished and until the man is loving and cherishing the woman he will never be what God created him to be or fulfilled – so in our making the change we (by our actions) cause him to make the change and become what God created him to – a real man.

My understanding of my husband as a man freed him. He use to have to walk on tip toes so as not to make me angry or hurt. When I learned to understand his actions, his words, there was no problem – I would just let it click in my head, “Oh, he is a man and not a woman, that is why he did what he did.” And no problem. Men so want a woman to understand them. When they do it makes them kind of worship us.

Fascinating Womanhood Notes, Pt. 2

[These are transcribed notes from an Anonymous Fascinating Womanhood teacher. Capitalizations and structure of the original have been preserved.]

Helen Andelin, the author of this book, had been married for many years and finding it had become mediocre, she decided to try to find out what the problem was. Instead of look at her husband (saying if he would change and so on) she looked to herself. We all know by now that the only one we can change is ourselves. She began to do research, then putting different principles into practice in her own life and home, she discovered a change in herself and her marriage. It was no longer just one of those ‘average marriages’ her husband, too, was changing and was now taking her with him on trips, and treating her as though they were first married. She then began to write a book, she wrote it without the knowledge of her family or husband – when she finished, she showed it to her husband and he said, “You have to have this printed – it is great!” She also had started classes for other women and taught them the same principles and they too turned their marriage into the special kind God wants all homes to have. No more arguing, anger, competing, and hurt feelings. A fun, loving, and friendly marriage.

I was one of those women who thought they had the best marriage any one could have. I thought I was the best wife a man could have – I KNEW I WAS. I convinced my husband that every problem in the marriage was his fault. I was either hurt or angry a lot of the time. And I don’t think those fights and hurts are worth the making up – why not have it all with no fights and arguments that so many have. My husband and I had always loved each other, but we didn’t always like each other. When you love some one you are trapped. Many couples divorce who still love each other but can’t stand each other. YOU CAN HAVE BOTH LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP. You can turn your marriage into a honeymoon. You have to be willing to change some things in your life and you will prove what I have said.

If I had not walked into that class one day, I would still be blind to my OWN FAULTS. Thinking I had the best marriage you could have, and would not have had the chance to learn and to turn my marriage into a fun, friendly marriage where there is just love and caring for one another. I had wanted to be the best wife any man could have and thought I was.

I sat in that class, learning I was doing a lot of things right (as all of you are) but as those few things I was doing wrong that was hurting my marriage and to be sure my dear husband and myself. I did not know what I was doing wrong – we can be so blind to our faults and only see those of our husbands and others. Many of our husbands actions are as a result of our actions and I learned this. Wise women to themselves when things are not going well in the relationship. I life that class and cried (finding for the first time in my married life that I too had faults), then I took a good look at myself, and went to work on some of the principles in this book. IT WORKED. I CHANGED and my husband CHANGED. My relationship with my husband changed. No longer was I either hurt or angry all the time. Because, you see, this book teaches you to understand the male, his ways, thoughts, reactions, so many things about him are so different from you (as a woman). Not wrong, but different. When we as women do not understand men, we judge them as another woman – thinking they are the same – BUT THEY ARE NOT – they are as different as night and day. One girl that took the class said, “I don’t always like what my husband does, but now I understand why he does it.” I believe one of the main problems in marriage is that both men and women do not realize the great differences between men and women – therefore judging each other as themselves, and judging them wrongly.

Fascinating Womanhood Notes, Pt. 1

[These are transcribed notes from an Anonymous Fascinating Womanhood teacher. Capitalizations and structure of the original have been preserved.]

What is Fascinating Womanhood all about? It is many things to many women, for it has made MANY changes in them in so MANY DIFFERENT ways, changes in their marriages and relationships with other men, whether that be a boss, son, son-in-law, father or man friend.

Many of you have good marriages – but take it from me it can be better, there is a higher goal. Some are not so happy, but Fascinating Womanhood will teach you how to deal with some of these problems. Some of you are divorced – take 50% of the blame and no more – this can free you. Maybe you have HAD IT WITH MEN. Fascinating Womanhood will teach you how to respect them again and not hate. There are truths to learn to set you free – free from BITTERNESS, FRUSTRATION, MISUNDERSTANDING MEN, also many things about yourself.

Fascinating Womanhood is not a BAG OF TRICKS, NOT A GAME, Not MANIPULATION, NOR WILL TURN YOU INTO A RUG.

If God ordained marriage, then he has a PLAN TO BE HAPPY. WE JUST HAVE TO FIND THE PLAN AND WORK IT.

There is a PRICE TO PAY. IT COSTS something to do it God’s way. So many divorces! If what we have been taught is right, WHY SO MANY DIVORCES? We have to find out what the problem is between men and women – there is too much hate and resentment between them.

IF GOD HAS A PLAN, THEN IT WORKS. WHETHER WE LIKE THE PLAN OR NOT – OR AGREE WITH IT – IT STILL WORKS.

If what F.W. teaches is wrong – then it won’t work. If right, it will. I proved it works in my own life.

Please hear me out if you can’t buy some of this. Don’t throw it all out – just ask yourself why. If you find yourself reacting violently to a principle in this book, it may be a clue for you to take a closer look at yoursef – and say to your self, “WHY am I so angry?”

I have learned that TRUTH IS THE HARDEST THING TO ACCEPT. Jesus said this also. OK, WE LOVE THESE GUYS, SO WE MUST FIND A WAY TO LIVE WITH THEM AND MAKE THEM HAPPY AND US. If to improve your marriage, would you be willing to invest a year?? Five years??? We can change no one but ourselves, yet when we change, others to change in reaction to us.

God did not intend for we women to have a bored, unfulfilled, unhappy, frustrated, defeated life. Fascinating Womanhood is a GUIDE to a happy marriage, filled with love, gentleness and devotion from our guy, where the WIFE FEELS NOT ONLY LOVED, BUT CHERISHED, HONORED, AND RESPECTED.

If we are not happy in our home, SOMETHING IS WRONG – AND ITS NOT JUST THE HUSBANDS FAULT.

Fascinating Womanhood – Introduction

Over a year ago, a coworker lent me some materials from the Fascinating Womanhood class. Her aunt taught the FW classes, so I was able to scan/copy the original workbook from the 1970’s, plus several single-spaced type-written note pages I am guessing the aunt wrote. I tucked the copies away in my “inspirational note book” and pretty much forgot about them.

This past weekend I pulled out my notebook to revisit good memories or sobering reminders. The FW notes whispered, “Blog ME!” Over the next week or two I will transcribe the notes for you all. There is no author marked on the pages; they are written from a first person standpoint.

If you have never read the Fascinating Womanhood book, I HIGHLY recommend it! There is a new edition out on Amazon.


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Quotes

"I can't say I don't believe in your God, but I don't believe He meant the world to be as it is." ~Nicholas Higgins. North and South.

"I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you are licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what." No idea where that last quote came from, but I like it!

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