Transitioning into Modesty

Kim left a comment on my About page this week, asking:

Fifty years old and feel led to start wearing a covering! Last month I felt lead to begin wearing long skirts or dresses after wearing jeans for many years. I think I’m scaring my husband, not to mention my children. Been a Christian for most of my life, but only recently have been moved to modesty. Any suggestions for dealing with my poor family?

Many ladies have transversed this path, Kim; you are not alone! Any sort of meaningful spiritual change as reflected in our daily lives will inevitably cause  discomfort for someone. They may not even wish to understand or care, for that matter. You still have to live with them. So , what to do?

From my experience, being absolutely clear and upfront in your motives is the best amelioration. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a full family meeting (unless this is what your tradition is) to declare your conviction. Start with your husband first. Start off with an icebreaker like, “You’ve probably noticed I am wearing skirts/dresses more frequently now. What do you think of it?” If he is truly freaking over the change, try drawing him out as to why. Maybe he might offer some suggestions as to style of dresses he likes better (modest, of course.) Men appreciate direct arguments. He may argue, but at least he knows where you stand.

Children, I’m guessing older, are another kettle of fish. “Mom’s off her rockers!” “Will she make us wear the same stuff?” Simplify the argument from the husband conversation above and make it clear that this is your choice. You might encourage your girls to follow your example, but they need to look at Scripture/Tradition and make their decision.

I hope this helps, Kim. Anybody else have some suggestions?

Hijabi Fashionistas

Confession Time: I love following Hijab Fashion blogs. The image I’ve hot-linked here is from Hijab Style. Basically what these ladies do is use Polyvore or a similar type of collage program to assemble outfits and accessories like you see here. This could be a highly-addictive new hobby.

Some other fashionistas I follow are Islamic Fashion, We Love Hijab, The Covered Lady, and Hijab Chique.

For my long-time readers, no, I have not lost my marbles on the playground. I’m still wearing my Goodwill gear that is rather plain (some might describe as frumpy.) So why this fashion fascination?

Two parts to it, really. The first is the awesome creativity these ladies use in assembling modest outfits. Who knew a knee-length red shirtwaist dress would look good over flare leg jeans? They think outside the Western fashion box to match their standards. [BTW, I REALLY like the whole short dress-over-pants concept. No worries about a gust of mighty prairie wind revealing one's bare knees!] Part B of Reason One is that these outfits are unabashedly feminine, perhaps over the top for many (though it is only day-dreaming shopping for the most part.) They are proud to be women and modest!

The second reason I was impressed with this hijab fashion trend came from a video clip interviewing some young muslim women in the U.S. They said clothing style was important to them because they were being ambassadors for their religion. That really brought up a deep current in my mind. Am I accomplishing that goal with what I am wearing? Who/What am I representing? Am I reinforcing a Frumpy Modestynik stereotype? Can there be some middle ground between being fashion-obsessed and fashionable-enough so that people will be positively drawn to your message?

Through the Week in Modest Dress - Thursday

Normally when I cook, I wear an apron, but that would cover up this day’s dress. I call this one my “teacher dress”, because it is entirely school-marm or librarian. Goodwill find! I combined it with my cream eyelet veil, knee-highs (shhh, no one knows) and brown T-strap oxfords. I also wore a cream-colored cotton sweater while at work.

We ate Tofu Curry last night, if you are curious as to what is in the pan.

Bonhoeffer, Chesterton, and a Reason to Get Feisty

“The moment two men realize they are brothers, they instantly begin to fight.”~G.K. Chesterton, Utopia of Usurers.

“Bonhoeffer was a relentless critic of any way of life that substituted agreeableness for truthfulness.” ~Stanley Hauerwas, Burke Lectureship, University of California.

“No good at all can come from acting before the world as though we knew the Truth, but in reality, we do not.” ~Dietrich Bonhoeffer, 1932 Youth Peace Rally in Czechoslovakia.

Try reading an essay from G.K. Chesterton every morning while eating your toast. You will have plenty to chew on for the rest of the day. Then round up an incredibly deep lecture on Bonhoeffer and the nature of Truth and listen to it over lunch time. Sprinkle in some rousing exchanges in a Bible Study group in the evening and post-rebuttals ad nauseum in Bloggy land. You have the perfect recipe for a Backbone. And it didn’t require 24 hours of marinating or soaking in whey solution.

Let me explain the above quotes. In the essay (the title of which I forgot), Chesterton is arguing that men must love each other first before they can argue. It is not a particular love; it is a love for all Men. This is the motivation behind revolutionaries. They fight to have the best world for themselves and for their brothers.

But why do we fight? Do we fight at all? Do we have anything to fight about? Do we fight ‘”fair”? Or is it just a nagging quibble that ends in, “Well, this is what the Lord has for me to do.” Or, “As long as we keep the Main Thing, the Main Thing, the rest is details.” We do anything to avoid an honest fight. Actually, what I see in most blogging discourses is a personal statement but no real gauntlets thrown at one’s feet.

Truth has no insignificant details, my friends. Bonhoeffer observed how different American students were than their German counterparts during his time at Union Theological Seminary. (No, not just pro-Nationalist vs. Democracy.) he compares the American students’ spirit as to living in a hostel where the spirit of camaraderie and willingness to help each other pervades. “The American desire to maintain community above all else.” Sounds pretty appealing on the surface.

“W hen it comes to saying the Truth or preserving the community, the latter always prevails. Fairness, not Truth, becomes the primary commitment. ” The result is a leveling of the intellectual demands in American education. There is little motivation to be intellectually [or spiritually] ambitious. Why? Bonhoeffer thought this was part of the Protestant foundations in colonial times. Most of our religious ancestors came here to escape turmoil in Europe. Americans wanted to “forgo the final suffering in order to serve God in quietness and peace.” The steeple house was no longer a place where strife and questioning were tolerated. Americans just made new churches and denominations to escape the rigors of Reformation.

“With his right to flee, the Christian Fugitive has suspended his right to fight.”

As a consequence, “…preaching becomes a series of edifying examples, a ready recital of [the preacher's] own religious experience, which are not assigned any positively binding character.” Remember last Sunday’s sermon? Sound familiar?

The relations between churches (and Christians) has not been one of Truth-arguing. This might make a favorable situation for unity amongst the bodies of Christ. Not so. “If the struggle for the Truth does not divide the church, then surely the unity of the church must already exist? Where Truth in creedal doctrine is not the reason for argument, church disintegration is greater than anywhere else.”

Succeeding generations of Americans who were free from creedal strife, found it unnecessary to fight over anything. “The fight over the creeds that their grandfathers knew became for them something unChristian. Any intolerance is in itself, unChristian. Because Christians have no place for the conflict Truthfulness requires, they contribute to the secularization of society. Tolerance becomes indifference and indifference leads to cynicism.”

So here how this lengthy essay pertains to my situation:

At once, I will proclaim my intolerance of Immodesty. Here is the kicker: Christian women SHOULD cover their heads. Point blank, there you have it, all out on the table. I am opening myself to conflict. Thank you for disagreeing. It is so refreshing.

And I am writing a book about it.

“Better this than to go on in this vegetating way.”

References: Burke Lecture, Stanley Hauerwas. 1 hour video. Listen to at least the first 30 minutes.

Chesterton, G.K., Utopia of Usurers. Short essays.

Lace Bonnets

These may be the most beautiful Victorian caps I’ve ever beheld.

This one is entirely crocheted. The following is my favorite embroidered cap:

They, and several others, are for sale from the Irish Lace Museum, as a fundraising effort. If you have deep pockets, these run from around $200 to almost $400. I’d love to just be able to look one over closely to see how they are constructed and embroidered.

Modesty is Humility in Action

Rebecca left a thought-provoking comment at MintheGap yesterday morning:

Fashion and modesty are at odds: it’s a diabolical plot!

No, I’m serious.

I aggreed with her. I love how God gets me motivated through online discussion. Consider me dusted off and back on the Trail again!

Fashion’s M.O. is to entice people into believing a lie: that your self-worth is bound to the revealing clothing you put on your body. To be proud of your body by exposing it to everyone (what so many think as “body-positive”) still is pride, which drags us away from God.

Modesty is humility in action. Through what we wear, how we speak, and prefer others above ourselves, we are being the Salt and Light. It is more than being concerned with keeping a brother from sinning; modesty takes into account the other’s spiritual and physical well-being and guides you into proper action.

Should I drop a bucket of cash on expensive modest clothing (fashionable styles that must be replaced seasonally) when my dear sister can barely afford one good dress? Of course not! I restrain my budget and share the abundance.

If a person is sharing about their accomplishments, however small, you encourage them and rejoice with them instead of gloating over your higher acheivement. When you receive accolades, you receive the joy but always with the memory of where you are in Christ: a bonds-woman bought with a price.

Culottes

Culottes. My childhood friend-from-across-the-street, Allison, was apart of a dresses-only family. She wore culottes in the summertime and was as tomboy as you could get. She was forever climbing trees or up on the roof! At the time, I thought they were a bit funny looking. I wore shorts and other contemporary girl outfits of the 1980’s.  I thought, well, if you were going to wear a skirt, then wear a skirt and if you were going to be doing tomboy things, dress like a boy!

Several retailers like My Culottes.com have created some great examples of ‘active wear’. I haven’t tried the latest trends in culotte but I’m willing to give them a try on two conditions:

• They cover my knees most of the time.
• No pantyline visible through the fabric.

My sister, who recently graduated from and is joining the staff of a conservative Baptist girls’ highschool, wears polyester culottes to do P.E. activities. They have a talented seamstress who designed them along with their jumper-uniforms.

So, what do you all think, are culottes a viable alternative to skirts? Should only girls wear them or women, too?

Christa Taylor: Modest?

The last straw: The Evangelical Outpost featured Christa Taylor as a “modish designer” of modest clothing. I’ll let you click over to the designer’s site. Return and give your opinion!

Are her clothing designs and selections….

1.) Cool and Modest

2.) Somewhat Modest….for a teenager

3.) Not at all modest….wouldn’t be caught dead in it.

All I can say is….White Linen Bermuda Shorts. Yep. Screams Modesty to me.

Cosmetics - Modest or Immodest?

Kelli asked last week if I wear makeup or jewelry. I’ll write about cosmetics in this post and jewelry later this week.

The short answer is no, I don’t wear makeup of any sort except plain old Burt’s Bees lipbalm. I also have “problem skin” due to hormonal issues so I use a clear acne medication and spf moisterizer in the mornings. That’s it! The last time I wore makeup was for a job interview last August. I still have the bag of petroleum based products and really, according the experts, I should throw it all out.

Cosmetics are a grey area for many ladies. Some wear a little, some wear full-coverage everything along with their coverings and modest clothing. For me, I think the whole kit and caboodle (lipstick, mascara, eyeshadow, etc.) proclaims that I am still an object of beauty for the world’s perusal. Jeff actually doesn’t like it when I wander into the makeup aisles in Walmart! He thinks I’m gorgeous without it. Besides, for most Christian covering styles, it just looks silly, in my not so modest opinion.

I can understand having poor skin or a birthmark or some sort of flaw that you would like to cover up or “even out” your skin tone. In time, though, maybe you should give it over to God and consider giving up the time, expense and pretense of cosmetics. Its hard, I know, but the heart issues work themselves out when you want to honor Jesus.

What do you all think about cosmetics? Do you use a little, a lot, or have thrown it all away?

The Veils I Have Worn: Introduction

A few ladies have expressed an interest in what types of coverings I wear and my journey thus far into this strange territory of Modesty. Over the next week I will be posting a photo journal of all my coverings, why I like them (or not), where I purchased them or how I made them, and what I am wearing currently. Jeff will help me with the photography.

My testimony can be found here, which addresses my faith, modesty, and head covering.  To summarize:

•  I wear the covering on Sundays and at home when I pray and study Scriptures. I will cover “full-time” but haven’t gotten the green-light from the Father on that yet. I need to investigate the implications at my workplace and such, too.
• I started covering two weeks after my marriage almost a year ago. Our church tradition has no standards other than, “wear clothing.”
• Jeff is completely supportive of my choice. He gives me his opinion but also lets me experiment as to what I feel comfortable wearing. I try to find a balance between what he likes and what I like.
• My hair is past shoulder length and I just got a cut yesterday for the first time in 6 months(!) More on that issue latter, but obviously I do not hold to the “no-haircut ever” approach to women’s hair. It is still long enough for me to pull it back into a pony tail and be covered.

Why Exactly Do I Wear the Head Covering?

• Obedience:  Through the proof of Scripture, tradition, and heart-conviction, I cover to obey my Father in heaven.
• It pleases my husband. He didn’t come up with the idea but he loves it anyway.
• Modesty: In combination with feminine clothing, I think the head covering is an integral part of being modest. Our hair is a powerful part of our beauty!
• Identity: I am a follower of Jesus who wants to be out of the closet, fully clothed and ready to give an answer for my faith.

I hope this answers some of your questions and if you have any others, feel free to comment. Now, onto the photos!