[These are transcribed notes from an Anonymous Fascinating Womanhood teacher. Capitalizations and structure of the original have been preserved.]
I use to think the way to a mans heart was through his stomach or sex – but that is not all true – its through his ego. Man has much more ego than the woman. And this is good because it makes him go out and make a place in the world for himself. He also is much more competitive than a woman. A woman’s whole life is her man – a man’s whole life is not his wife – she is first in his heart, but can’t be first in his life or he would never leave hom – he would just want to be with her. God’s plan works. We just have to understand God’s plan for both male and female. The dominate desire of the man is to be admired. Admiration for his physical body, his strength, his manly qualities, his ideas and etc. Both want to be loved and admored, but his strongest desire is to be admired. Admiration to him is like romance to a woman. A man in most cases doesn’t cheat on his wife for sex – but for admiration – she builds him up, makes him feel like her hero. It is just a substitute. It is one of those needs, and when certain needs are not met, either for the woman or the man in a relationship and those needs are strong enough – they will go looking for someone to fill those needs. We are only human. A man wants to go where his feels good about himself and is loved and looked up to. A husband wants to be a hero to his wife. Feeling she accepts him as he is, and doesn’t try to change him. Now I am not talking about mistreatment – that is another subject we will have to bring up later and how to handle it without destroying the relationship.
So the first thing to learn is that men are different from women. Love is essential to both, and to be admired is essential to both, but to be loved and CHERISHED is more IMPORTANT to a woman and to be admired is MORE IMPORTANT to a man. Because we fail to understand these differences, we often supply men with the things WE need, rather than the things THEY need and are baffled when they fail to respond as we anticipated. So the dominant desire of women is to be loved and cherished and until the man is loving and cherishing the woman he will never be what God created him to be or fulfilled – so in our making the change we (by our actions) cause him to make the change and become what God created him to – a real man.
My understanding of my husband as a man freed him. He use to have to walk on tip toes so as not to make me angry or hurt. When I learned to understand his actions, his words, there was no problem – I would just let it click in my head, “Oh, he is a man and not a woman, that is why he did what he did.” And no problem. Men so want a woman to understand them. When they do it makes them kind of worship us.
