Strawbales

There is new building construction happening all over my campus.  Large craters of dirt, huge cranes, burning tar, and metal beams every where I turn! The latest building started has a chain link fence surrounding the site (smart idea, so sleep-deprived students won’t stray into their doom.) Next to the fence is a berm of straw bales, I guess to serve as a bumper for the equipment operators. The string of bales is rather long. What would you think of, when you see so many bales lined up like that?

I thought, “A house!”

There has to be enough bales sitting out in the elements to build a sturdy, almost tornado-proof, home.

Now, with those piles of dirt…

You could build something like this!

With all that dirt, strawbales, left over brick, metal scraps, and other construction debris, they could build at least two good quality homes.

I hope you are illuminated as to the possibilities of overlooked items.

A Young Woman vs. a Girl

[Ask forgiveness later, but I just had to point out this glaring societal disconnect.]

When does a teenage girl become a young woman? Apparently if she is wealthy and popular. That is this week’s lesson of Miley Cyrus [15 years old] and her parents allowing soft porn photographs to be published internationally.

What was last week’s major bruhaha in blog land? The 15 year old girls who were pregnant and wearing….prairie dresses….taken from the Texas religious compound were children being manipulated and abused by their parents/”spiritual husbands”/religious elders.

It only seems just when the State deems “girls” as such. Both cases, in my opinion, are wrong and abusive. The media can wink away one as a mistake and the other as a horror. Parents were using children for their own ends, for religious kudos on one hand and wealth n’ fame on the other.

Miley will just have to continue being a “young woman”….and being used. The other “girls”, well, God only knows their fate in the hands of the State.

Head Cold and Other Things

Jeff shared his cold virus with me. I’m at work, all souped up with Wal-Phed, trying to keep the lights on and researchers happy. This leaves little mental energy to write interesting modesty and autism related posts. The good news is that I am taking off this Thursday and Friday, just me and household care time. I can write as much as I choose!

If you have questions you would like answered, please comment to this post. I will answer them later this week.

A Positive View of Marriage for Aspies

There are few books or research reports showing a positive view of Autistics in marriage. The usual portrayal involves one partner who is neurotypical and the other as an undiagnosed/recently diagnosed Aspergers or Autistic. The Aspie in the scenarios has some extreme behavioral problems which the NT is hurt/confused/ready to divorce over. And the story is usually told from the NT perspective.

You can see how this would be unfair, especially for Aspies/Auties trying to find guidance in relational matters. We are 95% not like those extreme cases. So how do we find good examples of NT/Aspie or Aspie/Aspie relationships? I think those of us who are delightfully (notice I didn’t say perfectly) married need to speak up!

In my case, I am the diagnosed member of the marriage, while my husband has lots of Aspie traits. We have been married for almost two years. It really has been that long! Time flies when you are having fun.

What keeps us together and happy is having many interests in common. This might seem like common sense to everyone, but for Aspies/Auties, I believe this is a crucial element of a close relationship. We thrive in our special fascinations. If my interest were sewing quilts and Jeff’s interests had nothing to do with fabric, we would be hard pressed to share time together. Our respective accouterments of interests would compete for space (uuhhh, it already does, but still). We would get testy. Those small threads of commonality might break. Ugly.

Aspies also use their special interests to communicate with the world. If you both speak a different “interest language”, you might have difficulties in other parts of your marriage. We have quite a bit in common and some things that are not. For instance, here are our shared interests:

• Our Christian faith (Essential)
• Love of learning new things
• Hiking
• I cook/bake, he likes to eat!
• Visiting museums
• Computers/games (me less so, but it is enough)
• Good music (he plays guitar, I like to listen!)
• Growing plants.

We also share common goals/visions of the future. We want to home school any children we might have (this is something we discussed before the wedding!) We want to be in the same ministries together. We both want a dog. Etc.

Then there are things we have less interest in common. This is ok, because we already have quite a large ‘island’ if you will, of shared mental living space. Jeff can be a pro at computers and I am glad to have a live-in geek. I can sew a dress from scratch and he is happy to have his buttons sewn back onto his shirts. I am not threatened or an outcast from Jeff’s mental landscape just because he is better at/has more interest in something than I do.

Over all, we seek to be happy together because we like seeing the other person happy. I am Jeff’s cheerleader and he is mine.

Open to questions!

Skills USA Oklahoma: Long Story

Jeff returned from his state-wide competition on Saturday afternoon….with inconclusive news! Apparently this is what happened:

Jeff’s teacher saw the scores from the problem-solving component of the competition on Friday. Jeff and his classmate were guaranteed to place in the top six, just from those scores. [They had taken a written exam a month earlier, the scores being composited at the competition.] They were rather pleased with this outcome; even if they did not win.

When it came time to announce the placements on Saturday morning, something terrible went wrong. Jeff’s classmate won a respectable 4th place. So dear husband was prepared to be in the top 3. Third, Second…and first…but no Jeffrey! He was not called forward at all!

Thank God his teacher saw the preliminary scores, because he was up immediately to remedy the situation. Well, the head honchos couldn’t change the placements right then and there. The scores were “locked away” and not available until Tuesday. Hmmmm. Something strange is afoot at the Circle K.

So now Jeff and his teacher have to sort it out with the Skills USA folks this week. There is probably almost zero chance Jeff could have failed both the written and the practical applications parts of the competition. He is a winner in my book and should be with Skills USA!

All’s Not Quiet On The Western Front

:::Update::: Some of the ruffled feathers are smoothed down now, but I’m still pretty rattled. The big project is now, thankfully, out of my hands. It is amazing how the culture of an organization can get so outta whack with one person in charge who is unstable.

Wouldn’t you know it….when the husband goes away for three days, crap hits the fan at work. ARRGGH! There are/were lots of misunderstandings surrounding a big project I was working on and hurtful things were said behind my back. Why can’t folks just come to me if they are unhappy, instead of sniggling to others? Call me a hopeless Aspie, but I just can’t seem to understand gossiping and passive aggression.

All this to say, PLEASE pray for wisdom. I really don’t want to quit yet, not so close to Jeff’s graduation. I am not directly in trouble, but the situation revealed what others’ prejudices were. My boss and other librarians are on my side, too…still, made me cry, gosh darn it!

Hijabi Fashion: First Attempt

We went shopping last night for a nice outfit for Jeff’s competition…and came home with a new outfit for me, too! The dress has a brown dot/geometric print which doesn’t show up too good in the photo. The shirt underneath the dress, the shoes and the scarf I already owned. What do you think?

Jeff really likes it. Only one person (who is also an Avon sales lady with classy taste) at work gave me a compliment. That’s ok. I feel great, though slightly weird for wearing a pants outfit. Everything is covered and no underthings are showing!

Hijabi Fashionistas

Confession Time: I love following Hijab Fashion blogs. The image I’ve hot-linked here is from Hijab Style. Basically what these ladies do is use Polyvore or a similar type of collage program to assemble outfits and accessories like you see here. This could be a highly-addictive new hobby.

Some other fashionistas I follow are Islamic Fashion, We Love Hijab, The Covered Lady, and Hijab Chique.

For my long-time readers, no, I have not lost my marbles on the playground. I’m still wearing my Goodwill gear that is rather plain (some might describe as frumpy.) So why this fashion fascination?

Two parts to it, really. The first is the awesome creativity these ladies use in assembling modest outfits. Who knew a knee-length red shirtwaist dress would look good over flare leg jeans? They think outside the Western fashion box to match their standards. [BTW, I REALLY like the whole short dress-over-pants concept. No worries about a gust of mighty prairie wind revealing one's bare knees!] Part B of Reason One is that these outfits are unabashedly feminine, perhaps over the top for many (though it is only day-dreaming shopping for the most part.) They are proud to be women and modest!

The second reason I was impressed with this hijab fashion trend came from a video clip interviewing some young muslim women in the U.S. They said clothing style was important to them because they were being ambassadors for their religion. That really brought up a deep current in my mind. Am I accomplishing that goal with what I am wearing? Who/What am I representing? Am I reinforcing a Frumpy Modestynik stereotype? Can there be some middle ground between being fashion-obsessed and fashionable-enough so that people will be positively drawn to your message?

Link-in Love

Less busy at work, phew, after yesterday. Who knew moving books around could be so stressful? Here are some great reads whilst I unearth my desk and think of better things to write.

• Miss Maggie has had a great three post streak about modesty, civil disobedience, and head covering. Will she write more? I hope so!
• Miss Lacy is a new HC blogger on WordPress. Go on over and say hi!
• A Reprint of an Incredible letter. Copy and Paste it all over Blogdom.
• If only shopping for headcoverings in the US were this easy!

Dish Zen

Pardon the eastern philosophy title, but it sounded so apropo to the successful experiment now being conducted in my kitchen. [Note: That photo is not my kitchen, but a reasonable representation of how it looked not so long ago.]

We do not have a dishwashing machine. My dishwasher’s name is Jeff. He was so very overwhelmed with all the dirty utensils, cups, pots, pans, and baking ephemera that would pile up, seemingly of their own accord. I was entirely frustrated that the pile exsisted and my cooking efforts were hampered. What to do?!?

Instead of giving in to incessant nagging or tantrums towards said dishwasher, I hit upon an elegant solution we called Dish Zen. Here is how it works:

Each person (in this case, two bipeds) is allotted a juice glass, a plastic cup, a large water glass, a plate, a bread plate, a cereal bowl, a coffee mug, and a set of utensils. All extraneous items were moved to the upper shelf regions of the kitchen. We did retain the remaining utensils in a plastic bag on the counter so I can use them in cooking purposes only.

We are forced to wash our used dishes every day, or more. The pots & pans are still pretty much the same but are not as daunting. Jeff’s time at the sink has well-nigh been cut in half, at least!

Look, I can see my counter top! I can shine my sink, a la FlyLady, without a hassle. My husband is happy; the world is at balance.